Tagged: pessimist

Everything Dies

I’m regularly accused of being dark, and for a long time I fought that characterization despite some damning evidence.

None of my dresses have spiderwebs on them. Clearly I am a sunny person.

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Actual Things I’ve Said to Myself in an Effort to Be More Optimistic

English: US Capitol at night. A mosaic image o...

“I’m not going to die alone. I’ll be surrounded by my cats.”

“No, I think I’m a pretty good person. I haven’t killed anyone yet, so that’s good. Right?”

“I’m so good at bladder control. Really, a lesser woman would have peed in her pants by now.”

“OK, today sucked, but at least I don’t have cancer. Yet.”

“He should just be grateful he has a girlfriend– there are millions of guys in China who would love to be in his shoes. Mostly because they’ve exported all the girls.”

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