Tagged: parents

Things to Do When You’re Bored, but Only if You’re Simultaneously Trying to Freak Out Your Parents and/or Are Really Good at Committing to Something

– Drop out of college or quit your job, start smoking pot, move in with your stoner best friend, and work at Target for the rest of your life.

– Run away to Las Vegas to get married to someone you met three hours before. (This is especially effective if you’re already married.)

– Learn how to cook, get married, have 2.3 children and a picket fence. Clip enough coupons to wallpaper a room in between making dinner and attending your kids’ recitals, games, and whatever .3 of a child does for fun.

The Muppet Show (comics)

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No One Likes You: The Story of My College Dating Career Told Using Exact Quotes By My Parents

Some background:

It’s been a long time since I’ve been on a date. (If you don’t believe me, read THIS post to find out why, and this one to see why it’s going to be even longer until I get another one.) This is perfectly OK with me, partly because I grew up in a post-feminist society and I don’t need a man to complete me and stuff, but mostly because my life is so nutso right now that the very idea of having a social life is enough to give me stress dreams. My parents also have stress dreams, in which I die sad, alone, and childless.

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