Hey, whoa! It’s me! Writing a blog post! This is kind of surprising, because things got weird there for a while and I disappeared.
What did you guys get for Christmas? I got food poisoning!*
And while some people (my grandma, mostly) pitied me for spending the holiday alone and sick on a couch 300 miles from my hometown, I actually had a pretty good time. And not just because I don’t like Christmas.
I mean, some parts kind of sucked. The nausea was not great. I think Hell might be a pantry full of junk food that you really want to eat but can’t because your stomach is on strike. But mostly I was happy. I made a tree out of books! I listened to Pandora’s Christmas radio station for nearly a full minute! I watched Ike try to eat snowflakes through the windowpane!
Every year, I forget to make resolutions for the new year until around February. This year, I vowed to keep on top of them, so I started making them in October and writing them down on small pieces of paper that I promptly lost. I keep finding scraps of paper in the pockets of my jackets and the lint trap with ridiculous things written on them, but I think I’ve managed to collect most of the important ones. So here’s to 2010, a year in which I answered the door for the police with no pants on, watched a U.S. Congressman who will not be named crawl around on the floor with a wiener dog, and made probably the funniest joke I’ve ever made (I can’t repeat it. It was just so good and perfectly timed that I don’t want to tarnish it.), among other things. Bring it on, 2011.