You’re not going to believe this, but I used to be socially awkward. It’s true. I used to be so self-conscious of everything I did that I could barely function in polite society. Parties were hell. Small talk was the stuff of nightmares. Forget networking — I couldn’t say my name without choking on my own spit.
Oh, hang on. Did I say I used to be awkward? Oh, this is so embarrassing. What a terrible typo. What I meant was that I am currently, at this very moment, flailing around feeling weird about everything. It’s how I am and I’m never going to change. My obituary will read, “Stephanie died as she lived. In extreme discomfort, not knowing what to do with her hands.”