I might lose them, and then where would I be?
I don’t want to go to parties and only talk about my children’s teachers
I would dress them stupidly for my own sick amusement
Four-year-olds have SO MUCH SNOT. I’ve never seen more mucus come out of any other age group
They eat ketchup alone
Elmo will own every building on Sesame Street pretty soon here, and I don’t like people referring to themselves in third person. Why would I like a Muppet doing it any better?