Category: Life and Steph

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

The following post is real crazy. If you’re not into crazy, and just into tribute videos to housecats and fun facts about the Muppets, go watch this and then subscribe to my YouTube channel, Life & Steph.

When we hit 100 subscribers, we get a fancy vanity URL. I’ll be honest with you guys. I’m so vain, I probably think the YouTube channel named after me is about me.


 

Hello! I’m so glad you’re here! Thank you so much for agreeing to help me out this week. Things have just been so crazy at work lately. And at home. And while I’m lying in the dark with my eyes shut, trying my very best to be unconscious. Well, you know how it is.

This morning I looked in the mirror and hardly knew who I was looking at. Stephanie, I thought, you need a break! And then I tried to stop thinking right away because that’s what I need a break from. This ceaseless hustle and bustle in my head. I can’t turn it off. I can’t stop thinking. I need a vacation from my brain, and that’s why you’re here.

brain

I know you’ll take good care of Crazy Brain.

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I’m Going Slightly Mad

I’m not good with feelings. I don’t like my own emotional reactions because I haven’t figured out how to control them very well. I really don’t like other people’s emotional reactions because they leave me flapping my hands in distress and making faces that apparently are not comforting.

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Last time someone cried in front of me I tried to console him by offering my half-empty coffee cup and a fork.

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Doctor, Doctor, Give Me the News

I haven’t been an adult for very long so I don’t have a ton of experience on the matter, but I do have a theory about adulthood.

It doesn’t exist.

No, there’s no such thing as an adult. When you were a kid, everyone you thought of as a grownup was actually just a slightly taller person flailing around and making stuff up as they went, hoping no one would notice. This theory terrifies and comforts me at exactly the same time.

Now I’m one of those people, so to help me make stuff up, I’ve been referring to an Ideal Adult who exists only inside my head. She makes good, grownup choices so I try to follow her lead. What would the Ideal Adult in your head do? is something I ask myself a lot.

WWJD-bracelet

I’m considering making bracelets but WWTIAIYHD is clunky.

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There’s No List Here

Things I’m Sorry About

  1. That I haven’t taken down Big Celery and people are still pushing its agenda and putting it in otherwise perfectly good foods.
  2. That, upon re-reading an email I sent yesterday that was supposed to put someone in their place with righteous indignation, I discovered that what I had actually written was pretty mild-mannered and polite.
  3. How, for the first time ever, a post on this blog does not contain a single list.

Things I’m Not Sorry About

  1. Writing headings that end in dangling prepositions.
  2. The trailer for my new YouTube channel, Life and Steph. Oh, look! There it is, right at the bottom of this blog post. How did that get there?
  3. How I tricked you and this post had two lists in it the whole time. Oh-ho-ho. That Stephanie. What a card.

If You See Her, Say Hello

I’m going to tell you something and I need you not to laugh or roll your eyes right away. Give it a couple of seconds, ok?

I’m starting a YouTube channel.

I SAID DON’T ROLL YOUR EYES.

I know what you’re thinking. Believe me, I’ve been thinking it, too. Repeatedly.

brain

Go home, Crazy Brain. No one wants you here.

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