Category: Life and Steph

Trapped in the Closet

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Candy is Dandy but Liquor is Quicker

Three Things (and a video)

  1. I hope you had a happy Valentine’s Day
  2. I hope no one gave you conversation hearts
  3. Because I would never wish that on you

A Bushel and a Peck and a Hug Around the Neck

Things We Need To Stop Doing

  • Believing that celery is a food and not just a gross, non-toxic weed
  • Pretending Pinterest makes any sense at all
  • Wearing those jeans with the crazy rhinestone pockets on the butt
  • Making Minion-themed memes (They don’t make sense! Why are the Minions there? Why do they suddenly have all these opinions about marriage and final exams?)
  • Claiming cake is better than pie
  • This:

 

You can read more thoughts on the horror that is hugging here. I’ll be on Amazon, ordering a large plastic bubble to live in.

Women Trapped in Gender Roles and Under Cats

I can’t blog tonight because I am physically trapped in a ridiculous situation.

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I’m not kidding. It’s absurd.

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Life inside a Slapstick Routine

On my way to work on Monday, I shut a part of my body in the car door.

This happens often, actually. I’ve shut my fingers in there more than once, and when I had long hair, it would get caught in the door all the time. I wouldn’t notice this until I whipped my head around to try to execute a tricky merge. I’d merge alright, but I’d have to check later for bald spots.

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This kind of thing has decreased by 4,000% since I got a pixie cut. I recommend them for that reason alone.

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