All I Wanna Do Is Have Some Fun

I’m the lead copyeditor in my office. The other day I overheard my boss telling someone not to get hung up editing text because, she said, she doesn’t know anyone who cares as much about grammar as I do.

Wow, I thought. What a compliment. I do love grammar. I’m so glad it shows!

I'm pretty sure this means I'm the coolest!

I’m pretty sure this means I’m the coolest!

Then I kept thinking about it, which has always been my fatal flaw. Soon I was over-thinking it.

Wait a minute, I thought. I don’t want to be the person who loves grammar the most. “There goes Stephanie, Queen of the Anal-Retentives.” That’s what people think when I walk by, I bet. Caring about grammar is for old ladies and William Strunk. Man, I need a hobby.

If you, like me, have taken your passion for grammar or something equally fusty to what others might consider an extreme level, you may not have heard of “hobbies.” A hobby is a regular activity done for enjoyment. You find one of your own by thinking of the things you like.

Things People Like

  1. Hitting stuff with sticks
  2. Pretending that a strand of yarn is actually something else
  3. Taxidermy
  4. Horses?
I'm having a hell of a time thinking of things today.

I don’t really know what people like. This, probably.

You leverage the thing you like into a hobby that incorporates it. For example, the people who like hitting things with sticks often enjoy golf, baseball or hockey. People who pretend a strand of yarn is actually something else like to knit or crochet. Those who enjoy taxidermy might visit museum dioramas as a hobby, or make those creepy bell jar specimens that every mad scientist seems to own. Sometimes people combine multiple things they like — polo was invented by people who enjoyed both horses and hitting things with sticks.

Hobbies are great for a number of reasons. They are more interesting to talk about at parties than what you did at work that day, unless you are a spy or the person responsible for cataloging everything owned by Ripley’s Believe It or Not. Too, they are a good way to attract a partner who may also be interested in tricking fish into making fatal errors, slowly running through neighborhoods and parks in tiny shorts, or trying to breed two dogs together to create a perfect version of the same dog for other people to judge.

Isn't it nice that people can enjoy the same totally weird stuff as you?

Isn’t it nice that people can enjoy the same totally weird stuff as you?

I’m having the worst time finding the perfect hobby for myself. I made a list of things I like, but I can’t say it’s helped much.

Things I Like

  1. Reading books about grammar
  2. Stripping wallpaper from my living room walls
  3. Going to the dump
  4. Alphabetizing spices
  5. Staring at my cat

None of those things are a good basis for a hobby. They don’t include other people, for one thing. Alphabetizing spices is not a group activity, especially if the other members of the group are the kind of people who have to recite the alphabet from the beginning every time they try to remember a letter in the middle.

These things are difficult to discuss at length at parties (not that I can discuss anything at parties), and they’re certainly not what I would call cool. At this rate, I’m never going to be invited to Hobby Lobby to lobby with the hobbyists.

I assume that's what goes on here.

I assume that’s what goes on here.

I’m no quitter, though. I’m going to keep trying to find the perfect hobby with different combinations of my interests. If I have to invent one, so be it. I won’t be the girl who cares way too much about grammar anymore. I’ll be the girl who takes her cat to the dump. Or the girl who strips wallpaper in alphabet-shaped patterns.

…I’ll keep thinking.

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24 comments

  1. Dan Bain

    If you’re serious about wanting to find a hobby, I still suggest improv. Find a club like ComedySportz, where you can get training and perform; you’d probably be great at it, and it’s the most fun, addictive thing any person could ever do. You’re welcome.

  2. Catherine Bardagy Winchild

    Ha! I love grammar because it’s one of the few places in life where there are RULES. Sure, there’s that whole “don’t kill anybody” rule. But after that? It’s all so wishy-washy. AND ALPHABETIZING THINGS?! Hello, order from chaos!.

    I’m sorry, but I must fully support you in the pursuit of your existing favorite hobbies.

  3. annamalei

    Reblogged this on You are exactly where you need to be. and commented:
    I think about this a lot. I need hobbies. Cheap hobbies, hobbies I can do with people, to meet people. I spent too much time working in college and not enough time figuring out what fun things are. I like drinking (sure, who doesn’t but it can be unhealthy after awhile) and reading (solo activity) and if I was better at other things I would do them more. Or if other people liked the things I liked, like soccer. Idk, I just need a really cool hobby, but cheap, ya know?

  4. rixlibris

    A neighbor’s child, product of two school teachers, would not believe me when I said that there was a time when any written assignment, without regard to subject, would be graded not only for content but also for spelling and grammar.

    As for hobbies, I spend time making lists of all leisure activities that require awareness and forethought and then cross them off the list. It saves both time and energy.

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  6. pardonmyblogs

    Hi, I think your blog posts are HILARIOUS. I really look forward to reading more of your work… Fantastic. Don’t stop.
    Also, if you have the time, could you please return the favor by liking/commenting my blog posts and maybe I might be lucky and get a follow from you? Would be great :) have an awesome day

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  9. La Sabrosona

    Hobbies are useful indeed. I’m curious to know if you’ve been blasted by people with learning disabilities. Would be hard to live up to great grammar if one’s brain doesn’t allow her to process those rules properly. Saludos

  10. aintwegotitmade

    One of my hobbies is staring at my cat staring at me…cat staring is not staring exactly..he’s not thinking she’s got spinach stuck in her teeth when he’s staring; he’s actually talking to me cos he usually combines it with movement, ie movement (towards door that he wants opened, (ie run to door and then stare) food he wants to be fed, or towards his ‘brushing station’… or the litter tray when he wants me to change it..ie run, stop, then stare…often to check if i’m following him. So my hobby is really following my cat around and doing what he says. Yep. I need more hobbies too.

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