– Drop out of college or quit your job, start smoking pot, move in with your stoner best friend, and work at Target for the rest of your life.
– Run away to Las Vegas to get married to someone you met three hours before. (This is especially effective if you’re already married.)
– Learn how to cook, get married, have 2.3 children and a picket fence. Clip enough coupons to wallpaper a room in between making dinner and attending your kids’ recitals, games, and whatever .3 of a child does for fun.
– When I’m bored, I play “What would these people look like as Muppets?” or “Who’s holding in a fart?”, and when I look at this picture, I play “Which Muppet is holding in a fart?”
– Become a psychopath.
– Become an amateur porn star or a YouTube celebrity. Or both!
– Fall in love. Right now. Go!
– Have a near-death experience.
– Get arrested for something. Preferably your near-death experience.
– Kidnap someone.
– Run away, join the circus, and become a sword-swallower.
– Get pregnant.
– Join a cheerleading squad, become popular and blonde, and get shitfaced at parties every night of the week.
– Develop schizophrenia.
– Join a rock band and go on tour- die of an overdose or STD, depending on whether you like Jim Morrison or Freddie Mercury more. There’s always the Sid Vicious route– stabbing your significant other.
– Act on any transgendered inklings and get yourself some new junk.
– Get an exotic pet/boyfriend/girlfriend (ex., a school of piranhas/a Rastafarian/ a Neo-Nazi).
– Become a beautician or enroll in computer classes. (This actually won’t freak out your parents. I just thought this list needed one constructive idea.)