Category: Patriotism
I’ll Be Watching You
While trying to impress a guy the other day, I turned and asked in my sexiest voice, “Do you know which presidents were the same height you are?” (Yes. I attempted to use presidential height as a flirting technique. I NEVER CLAIMED TO BE COOL.)
“Um. No,” he said, looking at me like I was crazy, although I’m sure I don’t know why. “Do you know which presidents were the same height you are?”
“Duh,” I said. “Look at me! Don’t I remind you of James Madison?”
I could totally take him in a fight. Founding Father or not, that guy was tiny.
I Hate Myself for Loving You
I’m big on organizing and ordering information. I don’t know if you could tell from my list-based blog, so I’ll come right out and say it: I like lists. A lot.
But Why?!
- Lists are efficient! Say you and I are attacked by bears. (Please don’t let this theoretical situation deter you from inviting me on your next outdoor adventure. I’m super fun on camping trips!) (I’m not fun on camping trips.) You’re carrying a book titled How to Survive a Bear Attack! It’s incredibly in-depth and would probably be helpful if you weren’t currently facing an angry bear. On the other hand, I’m holding a list highlighting the key aspects of bear fighting. While you’re frantically skimming Chapter One (“Identifying Bears”) and being charged by what you now recognize as Ursus americanus, I’m punching my bear in the face and showing what it really means to be an americanus.
POW! Patriotism!
I Get Knocked Down
Would you like to hear a story?
It’s about my brief brush with fame. Maybe “scuffle” is a better word than “brush”. Actually, the most accurate choice is probably “chest bump”.
This is the story of the day I accidentally chest bumped former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.
Yep. That one.
Baby We Were Born to Run
Remember that insane gym-going scheme my friend Adrienne and I cooked up in January?
It totally worked.
It turns out shame is an even better motivator than uplifting cat posters. My goal was to be able to run a 10K with ease on Memorial Day, and I DID IT.
Thing No One Tells You About Working Out #1: Sometimes they give you free beer after athletic events. Isn’t that cool?
President Evil
There’s a campaign sign across from the Safeway closest to where I live that says “The Founding Fathers for Scott Tipton.” I’m pretty sure there are more pressing questions for the Founding Fathers than which congressional candidate they would endorse. Questions like…
