I live in Colorado and I’m annoyed every single day by its beauty.
Colorado is so obnoxiously beautiful that it’s really easy to take for granted. There were deer and elk in our yard almost every day when I was growing up. I put a picture of one on Facebook as an afterthought last time I was home. When I came back an hour later, it had become the most popular picture I’ve ever posted, and that includes a hilarious photo of a bagel stuck to a tree.
Living here comes with certain obligations. Continue reading
I’m big on organizing and ordering information. I don’t know if you could tell from my list-based blog, so I’ll come right out and say it: I like lists. A lot.
- Lists are efficient! Say you and I are attacked by bears. (Please don’t let this theoretical situation deter you from inviting me on your next outdoor adventure. I’m super fun on camping trips!) (I’m not fun on camping trips.) You’re carrying a book titled How to Survive a Bear Attack! It’s incredibly in-depth and would probably be helpful if you weren’t currently facing an angry bear. On the other hand, I’m holding a list highlighting the key aspects of bear fighting. While you’re frantically skimming Chapter One (“Identifying Bears”) and being charged by what you now recognize as Ursus americanus, I’m punching my bear in the face and showing what it really means to be an americanus.
Would you like to hear a story?
It’s about my brief brush with fame. Maybe “scuffle” is a better word than “brush”. Actually, the most accurate choice is probably “chest bump”.
This is the story of the day I accidentally chest bumped former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.
In the office where I intern, it’s not unusual for someone to turn on the TV and let Fox News play quietly all day. I don’t pay much attention to it, but about twice an hour they play a commercial I cannot stop watching.
The ad features a man riding a horse around his giant estate, talking about how awesome it is that he earned his land and money and now he has a lot of gold. So much gold. He says things like, “Don’t you love the FEEL of gold?” and “Gold!” and “Isn’t being rich and touching all your gold the best? I gold-plated my wife!” (I might have made one of those up, but you get the idea.)